Cuties- kind of RusAme?
by sinflower.exe
Summary: If Ivan and Alfred were childhood friends. Oh, they're going to blow up the world when they get older- (The first chapter sucks, but I promise it will get better, or I hope at least)


**This AU was originally gonna be a joke but then some people wanted me to do it :):), also, please keep in mind this is HORRIBLY inaccurate according to both the manga AND history. **

**DIVIDER THINGIES DOO DOO DOO**

"-_but Artie! _I really really want other friends besides Mattie! I mean, Mattie is friends with all of France's friends, why can't I meet some new people?" Alfred complained, for the tenth time that day, and _God _how it was getting on Arthur's nerves- hell, even his eyebrows were starting to turn gray. All he wanted to do was enjoy his tea and work on his black magic to kill France, but nOo_ooo_Oo, this stupid child just had to complain about how lonely he was. Wow, so annoying.

"Alfred, love," he gave his fakest smile, "I said no, you might get hurt, or who knows- murdered. It's been quite common recently."

...

...

...

"Arthur, I was able to swing a full fat bison around before I could even properly walk. I think I can handle just fine if someone tried to kill me." Basically saying- 'Arthur, you fucking dumbass'.

Arthur continued sipping his tea, because no classy gentleman could ever show someone else he was struggling with a comeback. He was starting to sweat, because goddamn, when did this child become so smart? "Well, I assumed you wouldn't be able to make friends-" he said, before he even realized what he was saying- the sassy (and quite unattractive, because rudeness is just ugly) brit jolted after saying those words, "ah, I mean- you'd make tons of friends, but it's just-"

"_Arthur you're such a bloody bastard!" _Poor America cried, hitting his legs repeatedly, and even going as far as throwing his cup of tea across the room, "I can't see why France even likes you! You're such a big meanie!" He screamed, before running out of the room, like the protagonist in a drama TV show- maybe Riverdale or something? Except Riverdale isn't that good, change my mind.

Arthur sighed, rubbing his temple with his palm as he watched the child run out- honestly, he wasn't being that rude, was he? Thinking about what the child said, he then realized, "- wait, France likes me?" He glanced at his work desk, "... Well I suppose it wouldn't hurt to write a letter or two..."

**ARTHUR IS AN ASSHOLE PASS IT ON**

America was crying and running, his little rabbit friends getting excited because they thought he was going to give them lettuce, but nope, he just continued running- so now you have to feel bad for both Alfred and the rabbits. As he was running, he bumped into someone, and promptly fell onto his ass, "Ouchie!"

"Who are you?" The person he bumped into asked, making Alfred look up aNd hOt dAmn- now, you may say being gay is a choice, but Alfred was forced into homosexuality by his very attractive fluffy white hair, and pretty purple eyes that looked like amethysts- oH shit man, he was real hot, like- Danny Devito levels spicy.

"I-I'm Alfred, who are _you?"_ So I can know where I can find more of you, he almost asked.

"I'm Ivan," aw his voice was cute too, very soft and shy and subtle, "I'm visiting the New World because of reasons." Yikes, his english wasn't too good, with his heavy accent and short vocabulary, but no matter- he was still attractive, and Alfred was going to make this guy his best friend no matter what.

"Hi Ivan! Okay, my name's Alfred, your's is Ivan, please marry me someday, but let's be friends for now," he shook Ivan's hand aggressively- like, hella violently.

"What? No marriage, but yes friends." Oh, his voice was so adorable! Alfred just wanted to squish his cheeks and attempted to do so, before realizing this boy was like a foot taller than him, okay, that was kind of rude but no matter, Alfred would still manage to grow taller than him in the future, right? Right, let's give this boy some hope.

"Okay, Ivan, what kind of-" he started, before hearing a voice scream out in a shrill, British accent:

**_"ALFRED IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR HIDEOUS BEHIND BACK HERE I SWEAR TO THE HEAVENS I WILL NOT HESITATE TO GROUND YOU FOR FIVE YEARS-"_**

"Ivan, would you consider running away with me?" Alfred kind of bowed, with his hand behind his back, like Arthur did to women at parties- he expected the handsome guy to grab his hand and swoon, like the girls did, but unfortunately was met with him picking him up and running towards the forest at full speed. That would be very useful for the Area 51 raid, not going to lie.

Alfred was screeching nearly the whole time, with millions of voice cracks, "sLOW DOWN PLEASE MY FACE IS GETTING HURLED AT BY A BRANCH- OW- IVAN- SLOW- OH MY GOD THAT'S-"

They both bumped into a tree, those motherfucking idiots.

"I told you! I'm going to get a massive bruise from this!" Alfred scolded Ivan, who was just holding his knee in pain- as if it hurt as much as the bloody lump on Alfred's forehead, god, Arthur was going to get so mad.

"I'm sorry! Sorry!" Ivan tried to apologize, before putting a random weed that looked like a flower into Alfred's hair, near his cowlick, quite randomly.

"Huh?"

"Now you can look pretty when you cry?" He suggested, shrugging his shoulders. Alfred calmed it- I mean, he did feel sorry for hurling them both into a tree, right? And that action was kind of adorable, so he'd let him off the hook, although he did want payback in the future.

Alfred took a deep breath, before placing a his small hands onto his forehead, feeling the small amount of blood, but mostly dust and skin, "I forgive you. Hmph, but where's your home, so I can go there for now- cuz if I go back I think Arthur might actually strangle me."

"Ah right," he shuffled his legs, "I don't- I mean-"

"Yes?" Alfred raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms, he would almost look intimidating except the green flower-like plants resting on his now spiked up hair and a fat circle on his forehead.

"I- might have gotten here by just jumping on a ship and running off when they caught me." He scratched his neck. Okay, that was also c-

wAit wHAT-

**A/N:**

**okay, so i'm like thinking of throwing these two together into a ship, but i'm also 56% rooting for a cute childhood friendship, what y'all think? **


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